One of the most common suggestions given to students writing an admissions essay is, “Show, don’t tell.” While this sounds good and seems like helpful advice, many students find themselves confused when trying to figure out what precisely this means. Is it suggesting that you use the most complex words possible when writing your essay? Perhaps it means you should use lots of adjectives and adverbs. Maybe you should try painting a picture rather than writing anything at all. Let’s dig into this piece of writing advice and examine what it actually means in the context of admissions essay construction.
Too often, an essay with an interesting story will fizzle into a series of statements that tell rather than show the qualities of the writer. Students wrongfully assume that the reader will not “get” their main ideas if they do not beat them to death by explicitly stating them, often multiple times. Thus, the essay succumbs to overly broad clichés: the value of hard work and perseverance, learning from mistakes, making the world a better place, and so on. These may seem like good points to make in an admissions essay, but in reality, the strongest essays avoid such statements entirely. Instead, a truly excellent essay uses the details of the story it tells to make broad points of this nature.
One of the easiest ways to understand the “Show, don’t tell” idea is to look at some specific examples:
In a mediocre essay: I developed new compassion for the disabled.
In a better essay: Whenever I had the chance to help the disabled, I did so happily.
In an excellent essay: The next time Mrs. Cooper asked me to help her across the street, I smiled and immediately extended my arm.
The first example provides no detail; it is simply a broad statement that “tells” the reader something that happened. In doing so, it offers no insights into why or how this happened, nor does it provide any evidence of that compassion in action. The second example provides a bit more detail, but it remains hypothetical and overly general. The final example, on the other hand, evokes a vivid image of something that actually happened, thus placing the reader in the experience of the applicant. Through those words, the author “shows” the reader something that actually happened in her life. From that experience, the reader is able to draw the conclusion that the author has developed compassion for the disabled without ever reading those words.
Let’s look at another example:
In a mediocre essay: I am extremely interested in chemistry.
In a better essay: My passion for chemistry led me to enter the state science fair during my sophomore year.
In an excellent essay: As steam billowed from my test tube, I grinned broadly, confident that my science fair project was ready to face the judges’ scrutiny.
Again, you can see that the initial example does little more than make a general point. The second offers a bit more in-depth imagery, while the third vividly describes a specific incident that highlights the author’s passion for chemistry. An admissions officer is far more likely to remember the third statement than the first.
“Show, don’t tell” is a simple way to remind yourself that an essay should give the admissions committee a glimpse into your life beyond what is covered in other aspects of your application. You can do this by describing events and moments that capture something important about yourself. Don’t simply tell readers what’s important; show them a scene that conveys that facet of your life, and allow them to draw the conclusion on their own.
