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Introductions

The introduction is the most important part of your essay, and it has one purpose to fulfill above all others: to draw the reader in. Ideally this should all begin right from the attention-grabbing opening sentence. If the introduction can then go on to orient the reader to the focus of the essay, then that can be very helpful. But orientation is not the essential task because it can be achieved gradually in the essay. 

Tne problem that many essays suffer from is wasting space with irrelevant or generic introductions. For example, this essay spends one-and-a-half paragraphs reflecting on the question and the writer's very basic thought process ("I took some time over the past few weeks to reflect on my personal history, present context, and future plans"). Because this passage is so vague, the reader will most likely get impatient. A sentence like the following should tip you off that you need to get to the point: "I believe I am one of many applicants who confront this question without a ready-made answer…" You want to start by emphasizing your uniqueness, not by blending in.

If you have an introduction like this in your essay, the best move would be to delete it. Often your second paragraph, which begins to discuss a specific experience, will work much better as an introduction. But you may also find that a later paragraph works even better. In general, you should bring your most compelling experience to the forefront and then structure your essay around that.

The following is a list of possible approaches to the introduction, with an emphasis on the opening sentence itself:

Jump Right In

Some people will start with a compelling experience but will insist on prefacing that experience with a very generic statement such as the following: "My long-term goals can be traced to my interest in improving my native country's economy." Often the reason people will write such a statement is that they feel compelled to restate the question in some way. Don't hesitate to start with the evidence and examples first.

If, on the other hand, you're tempted to use the first sentence to explain context, you should respect the reader's intelligence enough to save that context for later. For example, consider the following passage from this essay.

"My most significant leadership experience occurred during a recent Bain & Company project for a major telecom firm in Brazil. I was assigned to lead 25 client staff members -- all of them much older than me -- in evaluating the firm's 584 dealers on a tight deadline. I must confess I was initially frightened by the task, since my peers would be counting on a recently arrived consultant."

This applicant probably felt that he had to explain from the beginning where he was working and offer context for the situation. The result is a very dry and flat opening statement. Now look at the following restructuring, which grabs the reader's attention more immediately and conveys the necessary context in time:

"Coming from the outside to lead 25 unfamiliar staff members seemed daunting enough, but the challenge was compounded when I learned that all of them were much older than me. A recent Bain & Company project had assigned me to a major telecom firm in Brazil, where I would lead the client staff in evaluating the firm's 584 dealers on a tight deadline."

As you can see, it's possible to establish context later on, after you have the reader's attention. The revised version starts with a concrete point rather than an abstract idea about "my most significant leadership experience." Moreover, the challenge involved is articulated immediately to reveal the stakes to the reader, instead of being delayed until the final sentence of the paragraph.

Show Your Originality

If you can make yourself stand out right from the first sentence, then you will have contributed a great deal to your case for admission. You should not of course just throw out a random fact about yourself, but if your essay is going to emphasize a unique aspect of your life, then by all means that should come up right away.

This applicant starts as follows: "I grew up on a small cattle farm in Donegal, just ten miles from the border separating the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland."

Clearly not many applicants will have similar backgrounds. After successfully grabbing our attentions, however, the writer goes on to explore the significance of his upbringing, so this opening statement becomes part of the broader discussion.

State a Problem

By stating a problem, you create instant curiosity because the reader wants to see how you will address this problem. <link ESSAY 65>This applicant</link> describes environmental disasters in Turkey through concrete, vivid imagery. After offering these external details, the writer can turn to reflect on his personal involvement with environmental issues and have our full attention.

Open With a Story

Business school applications require concise, efficient writing. There often just isn't room for the storytelling and creativity that other types of schools encourage. That said, stories are a great way to make your point in a personal, natural way. Especially as introductions, they can draw the reader in to your life and offer an in-depth, detailed portrait of your character.

This applicant answers the "most significant personal accomplishment" question by showing himself in the process of working toward it. The story itself is hardly gripping in this case, but it works as a warmer, more inviting opening than a dry restatement of the question ("My most significant personal accomplishment was…"). Don't hesitate to be even more personal and detailed, as long as your descriptive writing accomplishes a meaningful purpose.

Conclusions

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