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College Success
(Admitted to Carnegie Mellon) |
"I really wanted to go to a top school for computer science. I had good recommendations, high GPA, but bad test scores. I believe that EssayEdge help improve my essay and get me into my number one school Carnegie Mellon."
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Transfer
Anxiety
Transferring to a school of strangers can be terrifying for a child. Learn how to calm the natural anxiety that accompanies a transition to a new school.
Normal Childhood Worries
It is important to understand that many children who will eventually be happy and successful in a private school are initially hesitant about making the change. They are worried that everyone else there will be smarter, richer, and more popular, or believe that they will be unable to do the work. Children who are quite happy in their current school or who are looking forward to going to the local high school with their friends are particularly resistant to the idea of private schools. They fear that they will not make new friends, and that their old friends will resent and drop them. These are heavy-duty worries for seventh and eighth graders.
The key to a successful private school search, therefore, is to take it slowly. Unless you have made a definitive decision, assure your child that you are only exploring possibilities and that he will be part of the discussion and decision-making process.
Calming Your Child's Fears
The most important way to address your child's concerns is to make him an integral part of the private school search. Explain why you think a change is worth considering and seriously consider your child's views and concerns. As you investigate schools together, your child may warm to the possibility of a private school education.
Another important way to clam your child's fears is to acknowledge and talk about these fears in an open fashion. All of us harbor some anxiety about major changes in our lives. It is helpful to tell your child that this is normal and understandable. Have your child talk with older children who have weathered the transition successfully. Visit schools so he will see that not everyone looks like the extremely attractive, gleefully happy children featured in the school's literature. Sit in on classes to give him an opportunity to see the type of work the kids are actually doing as opposed to the sometimes intimidating descriptions in the school catalogs. These experiences illustrate the continuity - not just disjunction - between a private education and your child's previous experience.
Strategies for a Successful Transition
Once you have decided to try private school, there are some strategies to ease the transition. First, you should acknowledge that it may take a while for your child's worries to fade. Many students spend at least the first semester in their new private schools feeling rather lonely and isolated. It may be hard to make new friends, and they may find themselves surrounded by the kids who are ''richer'' or ''smarter'' or ''more beautiful.'' You should support your child throughout this period, but remember that with time most new kids find others with whom they feel more comfortable.
In addition, you can ease the transition to private school by choosing the right time to transfer. Transitions are usually easier when there are a lot of new kids, so you should avoid transferring into a school at mid-semester or late in high school. Transferring to a private high school in ninth grade, even in a kindergarten through grade 12 school, usually means there will be more new kids than in tenth or eleventh grades. Joining a K-12 day school in high school can be more difficult if most of the kids have been there together for several years.
Dealing with Life Changes
Despite your best intentions, your child's worries about his current friends may turn out to be well placed. Many children do eventually lose touch with their old friends as they become more and more integrated into their new schools. For some, living in two worlds can be difficult. They may be ridiculed by their neighborhood friends for wearing a uniform or resented for going to the school with the ''rich'' kids. The neighborhood friends may have much more free time and will not understand why your child spends so much time at school and doing his homework. They might accuse him of being a snob and disinterested in their old past times. He may simply have too much homework to hang around the way he used to. Some children do manage to have close friends in both worlds and actually blend the two. But many find this balancing act too exhausting and eventually spend less and less time with their old pals.
When this change occurs, you should remind your child why he chose private school in the first place. This will obviously be easier if you integrate your child into the school search at the beginning. Remind your child that there are tradeoffs associated with opportunities in life, and assure him that the dislocation he is experiencing will eventually pass.
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